I may have figured out the meaning of life this morning during my run. And let me just take a minute to thank myself for getting out to run this morning, because that has become a feat in itself lately. If you're anything like me, there are a million decisions that need to be made before I actually step foot outside the door. Should I eat a little something first, or wait until afterwards? What about coffee? Should I have a cup now, or use coffee as my reward for having run? Do I throw in a load of laundry? I'm such a multitasker! Laundry and running before 8 am? How awesome am I? If I don't eat, I may bonk out. Never mind that I'm only running 3 miles and there are a crapload of places to grab something to eat (I am at the beach, after all.) Do I see a rain cloud? Maybe I should wait. Coffee first. Definitely coffee first. And on, and on, and on.
Well, I did get myself out the door and I went for a run. Let me take you there. During the first mile, I rationalize, make excuses, beat myself up and become ADD girl. Wow, we're certainly slug-like this morning, aren't we? I should be really flipping proud of the 11+ minute mile I'm running right now...NOT. I should have gotten out on Tuesday to run. Cute dog! Why is this woman running on the wrong side of the road? Ooo, but her running shoes are cute! Those two people walking sure take up the entire lane! Is this kid going to ride his bike right into me? When I looked down next, my pace had increased to 10+ minutes per mile and I felt the tiniest bit happy. Then the questions, self-doubt and ADD started to creep in again. Can I sustain this pace? For some people, this is easy-peasy pace, but not me. For me, this pace is pretty good. Hell, it is amazing that I can run more than a mile! Gosh, this is feeling really hard. I get why people walk. Maybe I should walk too. I continue to push myself, the continuous threads of gibberish having spun themselves into, and back out of, my brain. When I heard the beep of my watch indicating that my run was over, I felt great, accomplished and sparkly. Don't you love that sparkle you feel after a run? My mother-in-law actually described me that way once after I returned from a run. We do sparkle after a run! Voices are a little more giddy, eyes a little brighter, demeanors are exponentially more, well, sparkly!
As I stretched afterwards, I gave myself a little love. I told myself it was OK that I didn't run on Tuesday because I ran today. I told myself that my 11+-minute mile was better than a zero-minute mile. All of a sudden, the silly decisions that I thought were so important before I ran became much less important, and what became very clear to me is this: some is better than none. All is better than nothing. A little is better than not at all. You've got to learn to work with what you've got, because when you do get it, it's that much sweeter. There's a time to hit it hard, and a time to take it easy. Don't beat yourself up for taking it easy, just make sure you get out tomorrow morning, or ask a friend to run (walk, bike, hike, whatever!) Don't give it up, because what you don't know is how good you'll feel after you drag yourself, sometimes kicking and screaming, out the door, still with a thousand little decisions yet to be decided and the dirty laundry remaining dirty. We sure put up some roadblocks for ourselves, don't we? Try to shut your brain off for the minute it takes you to drag yourself out that door, then let it rip! Let your mind go. Let your legs, your arms, your doubt, your crazy, your problems go. You will not regret it, I promise you. You will have participated in some self-therapy, burned some calories and figured some stuff out. Go.
Your sparkly self will thank you.
Do you find it easy to get out the door for a run?
Do you have a constant dialogue in your head while you run?